Stories FROM STATEVILLE PRISON
Artist: Damon Locks
At Home in the World was a class about the history of public housing taught at Stateville Correctional Center as a part of the Prison + Neighborhood Arts/Education Project (PNAP). Co-taught by author Ben Austen and NPHM Executive Director Lisa Yun Lee, the course explored public policy, structural inequality and portrayals of these issues. On this page, you will read through a dispatch by Austen as well as self-written works and biographies by students of the course.
The following dispatch from Ben Austen describes the course in more detail. The attached poems were transcribed by Josie Lee Ewing and Shakira Johnson.
At Home in the World, a Prison + Neighborhood Art Project
By Ben Austen
A small moment from a class on public housing that Lisa Lee and I are teaching at Stateville has been replaying like a TikTok over and over in my head. A guard entered the classroom and called a student’s name, announcing that he had a visitor. One of the only 20-somethings in the class stood, smiled sheepishly at us, and mouthed that it was his birthday before rushing off. The student who’d been sitting to his right, at the outer reaches of the classroom, then gathered his books and moved to the vacated desk. He wanted to be closer to Lisa and me, to the chalkboard covered with notes about the segregation and underfunding of public housing, to his classmates—as if all of it were too precious to risk missing.
After three classes, we’ve seen much already that’s infuriating and depressing. How could we not? The students who missed a week because a stabbing locked down their unit for several days. The trail of blood on the walkway outside the main building. The manacles on the shuffling elderly men that evoked slavery not only because they were chains but also because the shackles themselves looked to be more than a hundred years old. A student in class noting a passage in my book that described the dilapidated tenements and partitioned kitchenettes which people fled from in the first half of the last century to live in new, government-operated public housing. Every detail you used to show those run-down homes, every word, he said, could be used to describe Stateville today.
The actual class time has also been packed with so many powerful moments. The students have brought a depth of knowledge, and a hunger for more breadth, that has made the teaching feel truly reciprocal. Students have collected assignments and handouts to deliver to their absent classmates. They’ve asked not only probing question but also curious ones that must be asked of others when you don’t have a search engine in your pocket. Who was Altgeld Gardens named after? Who was Robert Taylor? What’s a steel mill? We read about women leadership in public housing, and the guys fired off qualities that make a good leader, and broke down how those ideas are gendered.
In the first class, Lisa started off with an amazing assignment: she asked everyone to share a place where they felt most at home. (It is a class, after all, about the importance of homes.) Almost all of the stories the students told were riveting, alive with vivid imagery and searing details. And when someone struggled to think of what else to say, other guys, uncoaxed by us, stepped in to coach them along, asking questions to elicit a specific example. One of the guys began his account by saying he felt most at home at his grandmother’s house. But then he clarified that he hated it there…because of all the pets. Dogs, cats, birds, hamsters, you name it. He said it always smelled like animals. There was nowhere to go to escape the bodies and the hot breath, the fur and the droppings. It fell on him, as a child, to clean up what could feel like a zoo. Then a pit bull had a litter in the basement. He said his eyes fell on one of the puppies, and he just knew: “That’s my dog.” He then described how he raised the dog, reared it, grew up with it. The night he did the thing that landed him here, he said, meaning in Stateville, he came home and his dog nuzzled him, licked him, wouldn’t leave his side. That’s how he ended his story. He said the dog somehow knew that it was their last night together.
Lisa had another great assignment: we read together a beautiful Patricia Smith poem, “What It’s Like To Be A Black Girl (for those of you that aren’t).” Then students wrote a piece titled “What It’s Like to Be a ______,” with them filling in the blank in whatever way they wanted. Darnell Lane was excited to share what he wrote:
What It’s Like to Be a Felon
By Darnell Lane
To be labeled a felon is to be a statistic,
a reminder of the lack of humanity that exists.
To be labeled a felon is to be an afterthought
and a by-product of failed government policy.
To be labeled a felon is to be a deadbeat dad
who has missed several milestones in the lives of his children.
To be labeled a felon is to be a loser trapped in a
meager existence without a hopeful way out.
To be labeled a felon is to be the cause of
society’s ills and never part of the solution.
To be labeled a felon is to take away your hope
and to give you a tarnished name and legacy.
To be labeled a felon is to be an object of pity
and the bane of society.
To be a felon is to die to self and to
be an object of capitalism.
To be a felon is to be branded useless
not worthy of compassion, empathy, or love.
To be a felon….
IS NOT WHO I AM!
STATEVILLE STORIES
Hernandez Bailey
Hernandez Bailey, is an incarcerated jailhouse lawyer and a student who currently resides at Stateville Correctional Center. During his 33 years of incarceration he has demonstrated a clear commitment to legal work. His growth and dedication to assisting others has remained the same through the years. He uses experience and works hard to educate himself and encourage others to pursue their own rehabilitation. Because of his mindset inspired by his grandmother, he wanted to help others with their struggle. His positive reaction to a negative situation influenced others on how to respond to adverse situations.
UNTITLED by Hernandez Bailey
UNTITLED
My grandmother had a great impact on me growing up, everyone call her Big-Mama. It was not because she was a big wish in weight Size, it was because she was loved and respected by everyone. She was the mother figure for us all, her door was always open to anyone and the other children was treated as her own. My grandmother embraced everybody, she greeted everyone with a big smile and a hug. She had the extended kinship network in the neighborhood because Big-Mama shared her family values with everyone in the neighborhood, she had a strong work ethic; because her mother was a hard worker.
My grandmother always spoke up for everyone concerning any problems, or crimes in the neighborhood. Whatever my grandmother did for our family, or for anybody else she did it from the heart, the spirit and sou. I remember that my grandmother was so full of love she gave everyone her attention and affection. She had caring mindset to help other people grow, her personality inspired our family members and other people to take action or participate in doing something no matter what it is. She built social cohesion and sense of common purpose, it is easy to walk in my grandmothers footsteps.
Michael Bell
Michael Bell is an incarcerated writer and student who currently resides at Stateville Correctional Center. He has used his life experiences to author three books on teen/gang violence prevention and anti-bullying. He is also currently working toward earning a bachelor’s degree through the University Without Walls program from Northeastern Illinois University.
What It’s Like to Be a Black Boy Loved
Like my mama!
Her mac & cheese
The moles on her face
Her shoes on my feet.
Card games.
Just me & her.
The way she says my whole name – Michael James Bell
Oh! I’m in trouble now.
Like cream cheese and crackers with my granny.
Ritz crackers
Always – Ritz crackers.
Lined up on a paper towel
The right amount on every one.
Just like she loved ‘em
Rubbing her feet.
Braiding her hair.
Her long grey hair.
Laughing.
Teaching.
Cussing.
Fussin’.
But always loving.
Like my Aunt Nita.
Everything – ‘bout my Aunt Nita.
Scary stories, practical jokes
Soft ball.
Everything –
‘Bout my Aunt Nita
Gone.
Too.
Damn.
Soon.
With me forever.
Like the sound of my daddy’s drums.
My daddy’s laugh.
My daddy’s smile.
Saturday morning 8 ball with my daddy.
Learning citess from my daddy.
Yard work -- doing nothing
doing everything
With my daddy.
Like my dAddy
My! Daddy!
Newspaper, coffee and that morning
Ride to school
With! My! Daddy!
That last and final hug from
my Daddy.
Sorry Daddy.
“What It’s Like to Be a Black Boy Loved” by Michael Bell, page 1
“What It’s Like to Be a Black Boy Loved” by Michael Bell, page 2
REGINALD Boclair
Reginald BoClair is an incarcerated freedom fighter and student who currently resides at Stateville Correctional Center. He has used his time of incarceration to become a self-taught historian and spiritualist. He is currently working toward earning both his freedom and a bachelor’s degree through The University Without Walls program from Northeastern Illinois University.
Freedom to Me
“Freedom to Me” by Reginald BoClair
Freedom to me is like a woman, Slowly you trickle down my spine.
Freedom to me is like a breath of fresh air, I inhale deeply and exhale deliberately.
Freedom to me is like eating at my momma’s banana pudding pie, it tastes so good you wanna cry.
Freedom to me being responsible a father, a grandfather, a son, a brother.
Freedom to me is like a struggle, overcoming adversity because it breeds character.
Freedom to me is like the four leaf clover, you know it exists, and yet, it is still hard to find.
But one day, someday, I know it will be mine’s.
TYRONE BREWER JR.
Tyrone Brewer is currently incarcerated at Stateville Correctional Center and for the past 19 years has been incarcerated for a murder that he was wrongfully convicted of when he was a young adult aged 18 years and 5 months. While incarcerated, he has accomplished these achievements: high school diploma, 69 Bible certificates, College Guild Certificates in sports, creative language, art of the masters, and families. He has also completed two Prison + Neighborhood Arts Project courses on public housing & self-guided meditation.
“What It’s Like” by Tyrone Brewer Jr.
What It’s Like
What it’s like to be the oldest child only boy to three younger sisters.What it’s like to be a sorrowful soul that has gone all wrong.
What it’s like to be sad lyrics to a heartless song.
What it’s like to be an individual who struggles, finds life to be a grind.
What it’s like to be an unfinished puzzle, missing the final piece.
I’m the imprisoned uncle, who has two nephews and three nieces.
What it’s like to be the dark shadow that blocks out the sun.
What it’s like to be purgatory, where life will never end.
What it’s like to be a forked road, a crooked line, a broken mess.
Just who is it that I am, can you guess? I’m the hazel-eyed wolf, nothing less!
Kijel GRANT
Kijel Grant was born and raised in Chicago. He has dedicated his life to preserving equality and justice. In this battle for freedom and justice, he developed an understanding of criminal and civil law and is using this as his weapon of choice. This is why he is currently studying to earn a bachelor’s degree at Northeastern University in Criminal Justice and Policy Reform. He is also an advocate for self-expression through creativity whatever that may be. KEEP LEARNING.
“When I Was” by Kijel Grant
When I Was
When I was a kid my innocence became lost
I bought style, I bought cool, I bought popularity, but at what cost.
When I was a youth I was grown of that age.
Society already anticipated my rage, why no help for me only a cage.
When I was halfway young and halfway grown I acknowledged no peers.
Hold your head High, exude your chest cut show no fears, you a black boy.
You're strong, you never hurt. I never saw tears, when I was a man the mask I wore only knew my identity myself, age, time was my enemy, when I found the real me, Myself, age, time was always a friend of me.
What it’s like to grow
ANDRE LEWIS
Andre Lewis is an award-winning and widely published writer, artist, and activist who is currently incarcerated at Stateville prison. He is a self taught social scientist/revolutionary.
I AM
1. I AM: I. A. M. I AM A MAROON, A RESISTER
2. I AM: I. A. M. I AM my MIND, wherein a Place begins, and the one i design puts me on a course to win.
3. I AM: I. A. M. I AM my PeoPle, so as i strive for me, i do it for we, For i am incomPlete until we all are Free.
4. I AM: I. A. M. I AM a M-16, for my thinking is raPid, and my actions are automatic
5. I AM: I. A. M. I AM a INITIATOR AND MAKER for i Push myself to create things that matter.
6. I AM: I. A. M. I AM MAJESTIC, which means i am of high character and exemPlary conduct.
7. I AM: I. A. M. I AM A MUST, For i am Necessary and Invaluable.
8. I AM: I. A. M. I AM ALL MUSCLE, A Body of absolute strength.
9. I AM: I. A. M. I AM MOUNTED, so i can't be moved, for i am Immovable.
10. I AM: I. A. M. I AM A INSPIRATOR AND MOTIVATOR, For i inspire myself and motivate others.
11. I AM: I. A. M. I AM A MACHINE, Always on Point and sharP as a Blade.
12. I AM: I. A. M. I AM MAGNETIC, A source who attracts and exercises Power.
13. I AM: I. A. M. I AM A MONUMENT, A Living testament and continuum of those who made a stand before me.
14. I AM: I. A. M. I AM A MOVEMENT, one link in a collective, moving towards a common objective
15. I AM: I. A. M. I AM INTELLIGENT AND MILITANT
knowledgeable and secure, PrePared.
16. I AM: I. A. M. I AM WHO I AM, Always ME,
A MAROON ETERNALLY.
“I AM” by Andre Lewis, page 1
“I AM” by Andre Lewis, page 2
Juan Luna
Juan Luna is an artist/student who is currently incarcerated in Stateville C.C. He is working on getting his associate's degree through the University Without Walls Northeastern Illinois University, who is also fighting to keep his citizenship and one day make a change with his art to bring people together! He also hopes to become a well-known artist/activist!
What is it to be a homie in love?
It’s a hot summer day, music booming playing some oldys, Tahys with a fine green, black and white converse and white T’s to make you feel cool. Checking out my homies 50’s & 60’s riders with some fine ass curves and candy color finishes to die for. Speaking (Spanglish)? with the homies as we smoke some weed and drink some ice cold chelas (beers) as the carne Asada cooks (bbq) we tell some stories as the day turns into a cool night. I’m in fine ‘55 low rider with my girl by my side. Cruising the streets making heads turn as my low rider dances the 1/3 mile. On top of a hill looking down at the lights and up to the stars. I start to slow dance with my girl nothing matters but our love to each other. The sun is coming up, the start of a new day. I get to do it all over again but this time it will be me and my honey and the homies can wait! I can’t say no to my girl because my love is way to strong for her. Now let me smoke up so I can dream of my fine ass girl.
Daniel Perkins
Daniel Perkins attended Lakeland Community College where he obtained an Associates Degree in Liberal Studies with a certificate in Business Management. He is currently incarcerated at Stateville Correctional Center where he is enrolled with Northeastern Illinois University/UWW. He is pursuing a bachelor's degree in entrepreneurship with a focus on improving community relations.
... A Dad Like Me
You're both young and scared. She's pregnant. You're barely takin' care of yourself. There's No manual. Too bad you have no example to follow. DAMN! He looks like you. He's acting like you. Look how he looks at you!
You need to make changes. Rid yourself of the negativity. Where's your head at? Wake up. You're blind.
Blind to the privilege and blessing of fatherhood.
You'll have ups and downs. Everyone does.
Why are you running? Why are you bitter?
Why do you hate the world?
He loves and needs you. So innocent and deserving.
He's growing! Think he'll be an athlete like you?
Soccer? Jackson, wrong way! Basketball? Not so much either. It's beautifully funny.
You love and embrace him more. So proud of everything he does, and don't do.
That's being a father.
He follows you. Wants to be you. Tons of questions. Picks up on everything. Be Careful!
He's watching. Watch what you say and do.
Did you hear that? Yah, your fault. You don't listen.
He's a young man. You adore him. You let him Down. You make horrible choices. I told you he needed you. I told you to make changes.
He's so forgiving. Hang in there. He still needs you.
Lucky you! He still misses, loves, and wants you.
“…A Dad Like Me” by Daniel Perkins
CAMERON WHITE
Cameron White is an award-winning football athlete, father and brother who loves his family dearly. He graduated high school at Antioch Community High School, attended Eastern Illinois University with the idea of obtaining a business management degree, but made a life-changing mistake and is now incarcerated at Stateville Correctional Center.
The Woman Who Impacted My Life
The woman who has had a huge impact in my life is my mother. Born in 1991 in Highland Park, Illinois my mother has always been there for me, she is supportive financially and nourishing. My mother encouraged me to live my dreams, like Beverly who “she was the person who fought for everything,” says Mary Baggett. I played high school football, where I had dreams of beginning a NFL football player, where my mother always encouraged me to go hard in practice and to always do my best. No matter what my mom had my back, through the good and the bad she was always there, striving me to go on. I remember when we lost our last game of the season, which ended the season. My mom was there to console me because I was an emotional wreck, where I eventually picked myself up because my mother told me it was going to be okay, it's not over. I eventually went on to play college football, and I remember traveling to my last game and I scored two touchdowns and when the game was over my mother was so proud. My mother would always say, “I told you it wasn’t over!” My mom has always been there for me through my life and I can say she is the woman who has had the biggest impact on my life.
“The Woman Who Impacted My Life” by Cameron White
Bobby WILLIAMS
I'm [Bobby Williams] 28 yrs of age. Born in Chicago, IL. I'm dedicated to my family. I'm big on loyalty, respect, and honor. Youngest of my mom's boys. Seen a lot and been through a lot. I'm a stand-up guy, I'm very opinionated and have strong points of view on different things in life. I love sports, and I have an amazing 12 yr old daughter. [sic]
Marcy Nelson
Marcy Nelson is someone that impacted my life tremendously. She is not only a Mother, Sister, and Friend, she is my fiancé. The energy Marcy brings to the table the way is enlightening. She carries herself well. I am 28 years old, Marcy is 47. We’ve been together going on two and a half years. Marcy is a leader in so many ways. Starting with her household, she leads by example. Marcy gives a perfect outlook for her daughters, she is a leader to me. Marcy has shown me a positive way of living minus the criminal thinking. She is patient and does not judge me for the flaws I have. Marcy helps guide me in a better direction. Marcy has impacted many things around her because she is full of life. You rarely find a woman whose priorities are together, she has so many attributes and characteristics. A few things that I love about Marcy is she’s loyal, motivated, independent, and a great mother. Marcy is smart, funny, has a great physical appearance and she’s mentally attractive. Me and Marcy are engaged, soon to be married. I know people state the obvious when it comes to people that impacted their life, to me it is the woman that I am about to marry, my future wife.
“Marcy Nelson” by Bobby Williams
Stateville is a maximum security state prison for men located 40 miles outside of Chicago. More than 1100 men are currently incarcerated at Stateville. During the pandemic, Stateville has had the most confirmed COVID-19 cases of any Illinois prison.
PNAP is a visual arts and humanities project that connects teaching artists and scholars to men at Stateville Maximum Security Prison through classes, workshops and guest lectures.
To learn more about how you can get involved in working towards a more just and humane legal system, please visit Parole Illinois.
The arts and humanities have always provided essential vocabularies for discussing challenging topics and pushing the boundaries of our thinking. The goal of PNAP is to foster this kind of exploratory thinking with incarcerated people at Stateville, who have a wealth of knowledge and keen perspectives to share about the world around us.
